Armadillo Style

Tiger is 6 years old and sometimes she's a little monster. In public my Tiger works hard to keep it together, so if she starts going off, I take a step back and evaluate. Is this a temper tantrum or a meltdown. Tiger knows from experience that I have no problem correcting her behaviour, (Mama does not appreciate sass).   However, we strive to ensure she is not punished, for things out of her control.

Its not always easy to tell, especially during an "event" what we are dealing with. I'm the first to admit that when my Tigerlily starts going off, I start stressing, which impacts my ability to tell the difference, & if HFL Mama needs a minute, to determine what is actually happening, then the complete stranger who knows nothing of my child's challenges has no idea, and should stay out of it, keeping their unkind words and dirty looks to themselves. I know that I need a thick skin, that I need to ignore the ignorant and keep my cool as a good example for Tigerlily, but under the thick skin, I can get a little heated.

One thing to remember, with a high functioning child, is that they can be acting perfectly normal, and then BAM!. There are usually signs before a full meltdown, but..... If she gets hurt, or suffers an adrenal response, she may meltdown without warning. One time we walked into a sub shop, there was a big mural on the wall, Tiger saw it, threw herself backwards, smacked her head and a full meltdown ensued.

The giant mural brought on a rush of adrenaline, that put her into fight or flight, causing an involuntary physical reaction, causing injury, causing a meltdown.
& at the time I had no idea, it happens so fast sometimes. It was only after the event that I was able to figure out exactly what had happened. Sometimes I miss the warning signs and sometimes its a temper tantrum that I've mistaken for a meltdown. I get it wrong sometimes, but I would rather let a tantrum pass without consequence than give her negative consequences she doesn't deserve. Its not a perfect science my friends, I'm just a mom doing her best to be fair.

Do you think the other patrons were fair? I doubt they had any idea why she was screaming,  but they gave us hairy eyeballs anyways. The whole incident was only minutes long, but more than a year later, I remember the looks and the muttering and it makes me hot under the collar.

Another time, we went into a restaurant and sat down, within a minute Tiger had started stimming, I asked her what was wrong and she grabbed her nose. The smell from the kitchen was too strong and causing her discomfort. She loudly stated that it was stinky, and we got up and left, the waitress gave me a look, which annoyed me, but I'm Canadian eh, so I apologized, but when Tiger apologized to me, I told her that she had nothing to be sorry for, and that she had done the right thing by letting me know she was having difficulty before she lost control. Then I felt bad for apologizing to the server in front of her and the descent into feelings of inadequacy and guilt began.

With years of these small incidents, looks, unkind words behind me I should be able to shrug it off by now, but sometimes it gets me anyways and I want to just curl up in a ball armour out, armadillo style.


The High Functioning Life, thick skin is in this season.
HFL Mama