Following The Script, What's my Line?

Maybe one day Tigerlily will be a famous director.
The kid loves to stage and script her play, her imaginative play is awesome.
She loves to set the scene and walk you through the storyline. Tiger will tell you exactly what she wants you to do in her little dramas, which is fine when she's playing with me or another adult.
It doesn't work so well with other kids. Well that's not strictly true, some kids are just awesome little people who instinctively alter their play to include Tiger.

Anyways, we have a playdate today and I'm a little worried about how it will go. You see, yesterday Tiger got a new hairbrush, and she has been scripting her dialogue about how she is going to tell her little friend about it.

Example: Name, like my new hairbrush? It's almost the exact same as yours except it is round and yours is square and you've picked some of the crystals off the back and mine are all there and I could have got the exact same but then I would have duplicated yours.

For hours last night Tiger rehearsed versions of this little speech. She was creating dialogues, about her trip to the dollar store, her hairbrush, her toys, pets etc.. She practices with her little dollies and will have the dolls supply the appropriate answers to her questions.

  She tends to plan encounters and when they don't go as planned, she doesn't know what to do. Again this is probably my fault, a behaviour we taught, inadvertently.

We/I taught Tiger how to introduce herself. We practiced the scenarios.She's been taught how to make requests, politely with eye contact. This was an ABA goal, there was a lot of practicing.
We've practiced meeting kids in the park, how to initiate play, how to take turns (still working on that one). In other words,
 in an effort to make socializing easier for Tigerlily, we have  created a new issue to work on. Or maybe this is just a normal part of her autism, the need for structure and routine in all aspects of her life, what do I know, not enough, obviously. Hopefully one day she will be self aware enough, that she can explain it all to me.

Then, there is the issue of other kids.... who have not been taught, or don't care to follow social rules. I can't even begin to describe the heartache that comes from watching my little Tiger bravely approach new kids, introduce herself, or ask to play only to be met with silence and blank stares, or ignored altogether. It's happened so many times *sigh*. Thankfully Tigerlily doesn't usually take these rejections to heart. Sometimes she will just repeat herself and that will get her a response and sometimes she will just walk away when they don't respond, but sometimes, she comes tearfully to me.

Leaving me to explain, that not everyone is friendly, that we cannot make people play or talk to us, and that we can only control ourselves and not other people. That she is not at fault for their behaviour, and that sometimes even when we are friendly and kind, other people won't be.

A hard lesson to have to teach my six year old. Sometimes I just don't have the words and so I just hold her and then ask her to play with me.

Thankfully todays playmates know my Tiger well, and they will play nice, even if they don't follow the script.

The High Functioning Life, excuse me director, but can I have a copy of the script...Please.


HFL Mama