My Patronus Is A Beaver

Guess what I've been watching!
If you can't just go now cuz I'm not explaining my HP references today.

Anyways for my fellow HP fans I was up very late last night and somewhere around  4 am I decided that I absolutely love the idea of having a spirit animal, Patronus.

I then started assigning different animals to different people and they weren't as obvious as you might suppose.

For example I think Daddybear would actually have an Orca as his spirit animal.
I think Tigerlily would have a skunk and I think a beaver would be fitting for me.

OK obviously I've had no sleep and this is a weird post but I just thought I'd put it out there.

I think I have the spirit of a beaver. I'm very industrious, I like to be productive in a tangible way. I tend to alter the environment around me to suit my families needs etc. Anyways a quick google found this and I want one.

https://www.google.ca/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwi21d6fvoDRAhUG2oMKHZZnAxEQjhwIBQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.redbubble.com%2Fpeople%2Fjerosmith0819%2Fworks%2F12633447-my-patronus-is-a-beaver%3Fp%3Dthrow-pillow&psig=AFQjCNFe47tIHoZ0DOm7HlcZGoh9SxwP4g&ust=1482244752932659

Maybe I should sleep while Tiger is in school, I'm devoting too much thought to this idea.
& I'm not sure I should really use a rodent as a reflection of myself , but it is very Canadian of me eh!



The High Functioning Life, where 4am's bright ideas sound a little silly after I've had a coffee.

HFL Mama

Weighing Success

I love it when a plan comes together.

Now we've switched to a new school, we have an IEP, we have an EA and now we are getting OT and possibly PT at school as well. We are still doing ABA both funded and private and we are making progress again. It amazes me how strong my little girl is. Switching schools can be traumatic for any kid, but Tiger has coped far better than I dared to dream.

I'll be honest I didn't expect this to go so well. Sure her sleep was messed up for a few weeks before and after the switch, but she did sleep. Sure we had some meltdowns, but not as many or as severe as I had feared. Now who do I credit with this smooth transition?

Why me of course.  Just kidding... no not really kidding. I'm an awesome mama eh. I'm a badass when it comes to my kid .  I put a lot of hard work into this transition. There were dozen of  calls and meetings going on, actually they are still happening but you want to know how I know I've done a good job?

Tiger is gaining weight.

She is on track to break 40 lbs this year, & that is just huge folks.

Any of you out there with feeding issues will understand why writing that sentence, brings on the goose impression.

Honk sniff*

Ok so it's not all me, I have to say this new board, principal, teacher, EA , bus driver and aide have all done there absolute best to make this transition as easy for Tiger as possible.  They've also spent hours on calls and meetings and visits, assessments etc. I was very hesitant to trust the public system again after how badly our first foray went, but this is going OK. and I'm even considering starting a new adventure of my own, just weighing my options right now.

So I'm in happy mode today and wanted to share, have a great day, I'm going to go bake a non stress cake.


The High Functioning Life, where we can physically weigh our success! 39.6 pounds worth to be exact.

HFL Mama


Update: at the end of January 2017 we are now officially 40.6 lbs!
Do a little dance, bake another batch, get on the scale woo!

It's Not You, It's Me.

It's not you..... it's me. I've changed.

After years on the ASD train, I am completely immersed in a different type of life, and it has changed me.

I think I'm a better person.
I'm more patient... because I have to be.
I'm more open and honest about difficulties and challenges ..... because I have to be.
I've shed the majority of my materialism, envy and false pride because, priorities, people.

For the most part I don't care about what other people think of me anymore. Don't like my bagged out, no makeup, yoga pants wearing style ... bite me, cuz I spend my cash on my kids ABA eh. My hair is  always in a messy bun. That ombre style, yeah I'm rocking it, cuz I can't keep the colour up.  I'm not so vain anymore.

I'm wiser,
I've learned a ton of stuff about special education, autism, early child development, therapies etc.
I'm more forgiving. I can let sh*t go, because really who cares, who said what,
 when I'm negotiating a new IEP, following up with CCAC, CRA and PEER Evaluations.

 I work with a whole team of people and keep up communications between different agencies to ensure that everyone is working on the same page.

I am organized, I have contact lists, records and files ready at my fingertips should they be needed.
The bag I take to meetings weighs a ton, but I never have to get back to you with information.
Just a minute I have it right here!

I'm a machete to red tape.
I can negotiate.
I'm pushy and persistent, yes I will follow up with you, don't doubt it.
No I won't reschedule, I'm sorry (cuz I'm Canadian) but you'll need to push something else on your calendar, I've already made arrangements to be there.

I am an autism mom and I'm a badass.The board sent a rep to cover their asses at every meeting for the new school, I like the new school, they don't dick around.

So if you find me aggressive, if my candor makes you uncomfortable don't worry..

It's not you, it's me and I like me.

Who do you like?


The High Functioning Life, where we don't get to be typical, we get to be warriors!

HFL Mama.

Hurdles

And here we go again.
It seems that no matter how hard we try, what sacrifices we make etc., that something else always happens to us. I swear if it wasn't for bad luck, or maybe hubby and I just used up all our good luck finding each other.  For whatever reason,  our life mantra is turning into: If it can go wrong, it will.

Thankfully I'm a Canadian so this is all really first world complaints.

It's actually pretty funny, I mean, I may be tempting fate here, but really its kind of ridiculous the way every single time hubby and I start to get ahead another bomb drops, I mean what else can happen.

Our Mortgage was processed incorrectly and so our payment is going up by 25%
Tuition went up this year.
Remember the job that told me they would hire me back in the fall... guess what, they meant only if I no longer required an accommodation . Sure yeah Tigers ASD was cured over the summer all she needed was vitamin D hahahaha.
That great job offer I had that was supposed to start this week, yeah they ran into roadblocks and I'm out of luck.

We had to take Tiger out of her private school, and my heart is broken. I loved our little school.
Tiger loved her little school and she was doing so well there.
At first I hoped this was only going to be a temporary thing, but it doesn't look like it will be.

Now for the good news.

We found a new school.

Actually I didn't have to jump too many hurdles for this to happen.

I visited our local school, met the principal and special education lead and it quickly became apparent that Tiger would not be going there. The yard is unfenced, ummmmm no.
The principal started in immediately with budget constraints and staffing issues.
& its this really cool open concept layout with pods and big open spaces. Totally neat but super loud and there is like 70 kids in a pod with 3 teachers and a couple EA's, not exactly a sensory friendly environment and they don't have a sensory friendly class nor were they interested in creating one.

Anyways the principal made it plain I would have to go through the board if we needed anything extra. Like EA hours , supervision at recess etc. I am so demanding ya know, I expect a known flight risk to have supervision, like what, its there job to watch over my child while she's in school.

So I called the new board. (remember we sold our house and moved to fund private school and therapy.... so a new board that doesn't know me heehee) and I reminded them that Tiger had the right to receive an education without being put at risk or harmed in the process. I also told them that I was totally uninterested in anything they had to say about budgets, given how many sacrifices we've  made. I told them about Tigers first foray into school and just how badly that went. I explained her diagnosis and her needs and asked them to find me a school that was able to meet my girls needs without making her suffer before providing supports.

& They delivered!

Tiger is going to a small school a couple villages over. She is being picked up and dropped off at our house. She is met by an EA who helps her transition into class. There is support all day in her class and she has access to a beautiful developmental learning suite and a quiet room called the lounge. There is fencing, it's all on one floor. They followed my lead regarding which grade to put her in and they are working with me on an IEP getting her Physio ad OT at school and they have another HFA girl in Tigers class!! She's not alone, she's got a therapy partner!

The fly in the ointment..... the school is on the chopping block for next year.

But that's a hurdle for a later date.

Interesting fact about me, I ran hurdles in highschool.

I'm five foot one in my shoes, but I did it!



The High Functioning Life, what's one more hurdle...

HFL Mama

The Trick To Halloween

I'm just kidding, there is no trick, just grin and bear it.

We had some issues with trick or treating, nothing major. The first few houses were our neighbours whom she somewhat knows so those went well, but as we continued up the street. My baby zombie lost her words.
(yes she changed out of the princess costume and decided to be a zombie like me)
She started gesturing instead of speaking, which some people found a little offensive, myself included, I'm sorry, but she can talk, and should, there will be no rewards for backsliding in behaviour.
 We took a break to discuss the Halloween protocol, but she was clearly not taking it in. I had to remind her to use her words at every single house, both to say, "Trick or Treat" & to say, "Thank-you" and or "Happy Halloween".  She said them out of order, she said it backwards but she tried and that is what matters.
 She only went out for half an hour before she wanted to quit. She fell twice, losing her balance because she was swivelling her head all around looking at everything.  She complimented the other kids on their cool costumes and loved the dogs that were dressed up. She was having a great, but difficult time.
 There were lots of  people out, its the first year that we've tricked or treated with no snow, sleet or freezing rain!  I was all set for a long haul but she was exhausted after the second street. I ended up piggy backing her home, which she thought was fabulous until I told her I needed to put her down to readjust my hold on her and the bag. Before I could get down she just went limp and let go crashing to the sidewalk below. She screamed, she cried, she screamed some more, we could see our house so I picked her up, dusted her off and was grateful for being so short. We made it home and she sat with me to hand out candy on the porch for a bit, but it was bedtime so I sent her in to Daddybear.

Oh Boy!! Bad Candy!! Bad, Bad, Candy!! Tigerlily has an issue with this evil chemical called Tartrazine, and that crap is in almost all the coloured candy stuff. There's a reason they have to label that sh*te for you people, its a warning. Anyways occasionally we look the other way and let her have the bad candy, Halloween being one of those times. Poor kiddo convinced her Daddybear to let her have some candy before bed. ( I would have let her have chips not candy, but I was still handing out candy outside when this went down).  Poor kiddo, heart racing, sweating and pale, she can't sleep, she's too hot, she can't be still etc. Bad Candy.

So Halloween is over, and I've eaten my share of sugary junk and Tiger is hounding me endlessly for another piece of candy.  I figure if I eat two for her every one, we will get though this faster.
I may also blame the dog for the sudden disappearance of the rest of her candy. There is only so much manic munchkin I can handle.

The High Functioning Life, where every piece of candy is tricky.



Side Note: Tiger had an absolute blast playing in the Halloween makeup. She did her own and added more to mine we looked quite gruesome.

For The Love Of Princesses

Well tomorrow is Halloween, and the Tigerlily is pulling tricks.

I am forever trying to be organized and prepared, so I asked Tiger to choose a costume at the beginning of the month. She couldn't decide between a Queen or a Princess so I brought her with me to the store and let her choose a costume. The one she chose would work either way so I was feeling pretty proud of myself.

Of course whenever I think I've got my sh*t together .... sh*t happens.

During my our annual pumpkin carving party with our best buddies, my awesome little goddaughter ended up dressing up for a different Halloween party, she was going to, in front of Tiger.
She went as a devil and she looked scary all  redskin and black wings etc..... it was very well done.

Now Tiger is sitting on the couch in a punk vampire costume because she wants to be scary too!

Tomorrow morning is going to be hellish. It's already 8:30 and she hasn't had a bath yet and she  really needs one. She is royally wound up about wearing a costume to school. I am half way tempted to just keep her home and save myself the horror show when she has a meltdown over choosing which costume, whether or not she can handle the makeup, necklace, her hair etc.

I'm going to get up at 5:30am and get myself and her bag totally ready before I attempt to wake her up. If she would just stick to the princess plan life would be much easier. Princess doesn't require makeup and the tiara is optional and its a really pretty costume etc. Hopefully she will change her mind back in the morning as I really prefer the royal costumes.

Here is one from a couple years ago. People actually thought this was a creepy doll I bought but I assure you its just Tiger looking away from the camera.
 The wigs only stay on for photos eh.

And another year...


The High Functioning Life, why for the love of princesses, do I bother trying to plan ahead?


HFL Mama

The Waiting Game

In this world of instant gratification, patience is a virtue, I do not possess in quantity.
I have no patience for red tape and procedure. I want things to get done,  now or as Daddybear says, "I want what I want, when I want it."

Right now I am waiting on a number of things.
The doc to do the T2201.
The results of my tax audit.
The results from our latest evaluation
For parent teacher interviews and the list goes on.

The buzzer on the dryer can go anytime now, I want my fuzzy sweater.

While I'm waiting on  my sweater, a thought dawned on me, that waiting for Tigerlily to be diagnosed was awful. Waiting for this latest assessment result is awful. Maybe its just me but I can't stand all these wait times.

Wait to come up for services, wait for reimbursement, wait for the damn light to turn green, wait for the paint to dry so I can put on a fresh coat, wait for Tigers bus and it goes on and on.

I'm thinking I need to turn this into some sort of game, so I can replace my frustration with amusement.

Maybe make bets with Ian as to how long each thing will take.
Loser makes the winner dinner of their choice or something.

Ok the buzzer went, talk to you later.


The High Functioning Life, "that's alright you take your time, I'll just have a coffee while I wait."