PTSD or Post Traumatic Spectrum Diagnosis

I have a confession to make, the day hubby and I walked out of the specialists office with our information package on Autism, I fell apart.

In fact I actually said to hubby "Forgive me, I'm just going to fall apart right now" &  proceeded to cry, which he allowed for all of  five minutes.
He's patient like that.

Then he said, "I don't understand why you are crying, a diagnosis doesn't change anything, she's still our baby girl, she hasn't changed."
He's strong like that.

What I couldn't articulate in that moment, while I was dripping and shaking and honking like a goose, was that it changed everything for me, because I could no longer pretend.
I could no longer pretend to myself, she was just behind, or needed more socializing. That she would get better or grow out of it.  I had secretly been holding that candle close to my heart and as those papers slid across the table towards us, that little flame went out and it felt like all of my hopes and dreams had blown away like so much smoke.

Everything was falling apart around me, and had been for a while. A lot goes into a diagnosis.
I wasn't functioning very well. I was throwing myself into researching "cures" treatments and therapies. I was angry, depressed, terrified and sleep deprivation does terrible things to you both physically and .emotionally.

Getting over the diagnosis was really hard for me, I'm not sure I'm over it now.

There is no Post to Autism, No cure.

Eventually, I may come to a place of acceptance.
I've moved past my grief and fear and I've become a soldier.

 Now I'm waging war against the invisible enemy who steals my child's smiles and interrupts her dreams at night.






The high functioning life is not for the faint of heart.

Autism Spectrum Disorders, I speak ASD.

As I was writing my welcome post, it occurred to me that I shouldn't use too many abbreviations, in case some readers are new to this lifestyle, and that reminded me of my job interview with my current employer where I joked about my second language being ASD.  ( Yes I make jokes about it). It's cool they still hired me.

Autism does have its own language though, which my interviewer understood as she has a special needs sister. ( do you think that worked in my favour hmmmm) We joked about how every diagnosis should come with its own translation guide especially for acronyms.  I found one I liked at www.autismconnecticut.org/autism-acronym-glossary  its pretty straight forward. I recommend not driving yourself crazy trying to learn all of them and maybe just stick to the ones that apply to your situation. 


Autism Spectrum Disorder Abbreviations That I'm guilty of using without thought.

ABA=Applied Behaviour Analysis
This is a therapy where we look for cause and effect and then try to train your child kinda like you would a puppy.

ASD= Autism Spectrum Disorder (s)
OK all of you stand under this umbrella.

Aspie=Person with Asperger's
 hmmmm can we talk about something else now.

ADD=Attention Deficit Disorder
aka Squirrels

ADHD-Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
 aka squirrels on caffeine

ADOS=Autism Diagnostic Observation Scale
scary scary test that you don't want high marks on.

HFA=High Functioning Autism
You are definetly rocking to your own beat but at least you hear the music

IBI=Intensive Behavioural Intervention
Help this kid stat !

IEP=Individual Education Plan
don't get me started......grrrrrrrrrrr

LD=Learning Disability

NT=Neuro Typical
Normal

OCD=Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

ODD=Oppositional Defiance Disorder

OT=Occupational Therapy or Therapist

PECS=Picture Exchange Communication System

PT=Physio or Physical Therapist

Alright so now I can tell you Tiger Lily had her first ADOS at 18 months of age which revealed that she was HFA and needed, PT, OT, ABA and IBI as well as speech therapy. She will never be considered an aspie due to her speech delay and we are all OK.

Welcome to The High Functioning Life

Hi and thanks for looking into The High Functioning Life.

My name is Mel and my high functioning autistic daughter calls me Mama. Yup I said Autistic so run now if you thought this blog was about anything other than Autism.

A word to the wise,
 I basically have no real idea what I'm doing here online, technology is not my thing.
This blog is just me sharing my experiences and take on things, helping myself by voicing my thoughts, and sharing my life as the parent to a special kid. My hope is that maybe one day this blog will help my daughter and that she will be able to write posts about her life on the spectrum, but for now its just HFL mama online.

About ME !

Well I'm just your run of the mill crazy Canadian mama. I'm 36 years old, living in Ontario Canada. I'm married (Happily) and have one special little girl, 2 cats and a dog. I've just moved so I'm working on making this house into my home and will probably post about my house  projects here too.
I live by a few sayings.
Have an attitude of gratitude, Don't sweat the small stuff, and I like me, who do you like?

I think they give a pretty good indication of who I am as a person right now.

About My Daughter

Lily aka Tiger is 5 yrs old, she was diagnosed with HFA just before she turned two, at  which point she had stopped talking and was not able to walk more than a couple steps without falling and didn't sleep and screamed and screamed and screamed. There will probably be more than one post written about her history but the good news is Tiger Lily is doing  awesome and has progressed much faster than we dared to dream.


Ok,
That's the welcome post
hope you read some more :)
and I apologize for all my grammatical errors.